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psycho-520x215Okay, I couldn’t talk about being afraid of the shower without referencing the famous shower scene in Psycho. I know that there are people who are still afraid to take showers because of that movie, but it isn’t the reason I am terrified of showers. On April 8, it will be my fourth anniversary of my left knee replacement. I admit I have had problems with my replacement. I am still stuck between 5 and 10 degrees of my leg being straight, but I can live with that. I can now tell you when weather fronts are coming through, as my knee gets stiff. But, when someone asks if I would do it again I would have to say yes. I went from having to wear thigh-high compression stocking on my left leg, then a big brace, and use a cane to get around. I never knew when it would go out and I would be on the floor. I don’t have those problems anymore. So, things aren’t perfect, but they are much better.

So, back to the reason for the blog… Showers terrify me because I am afraid of falling. I used to love to take showers. That was my “me” time. I could get in and out with no problems. Sometimes it was fun to take a shower if you know what I mean, but now I am afraid from the moment I put my first foot in until I take the last step out. I have the no skid rubber mat on the shower floor. I have the handicap bars, but we have one of those combination shower/tubs that you have to step up and over the side to get in. It is also an older tub, so it is funny shaped and even with the mat there are still areas that slip. I mean a part of me knows that it is okay, I am not going to fall, but now I am not sure what my replaced knee will do if I fall. I know what it did before. I fell, it popped out, I popped it back in, and then I limped for a few days. Now, I have metal, screws, etc., so if I fall will it rip out? I mean I don’t want to find out, but that sits in the back of your mind. I have really thought about taking the second bathroom that has an old metal tub we can’t use and ripping it out and making a true step in shower. One of those where you only have the slight lip where the water doesn’t pour out into the rest of the bathroom and down the hall, but it is very easy to get in and out. The thing is that takes money and of course with getting laid off on New Year’s Eve 2014 and just getting a new job last month, it will be a bit before that is an option.

I do find I feel better if I have a place to sit in the shower. I can then do all I need to do in the shower and not worry about my feet going out from under me, but you still have to get in and out. It makes you wonder how little old men and ladies even attempt to take a shower when they have a setup like I have. I guess that is why they have home health come in, have to go to assisted living, or have to live with a younger loved one. I guess at some point in your life you know you are going to get to the age where certain things are not going to be easy to do, but you really don’t think about that when you are in your early 50s or younger. I guess when you realize you really are getting older it sucks… I mean when we were in our 20s and 30s we could get by with 2 hours of sleep, take a fall and get right back up, pickup stuff and not worry about your back and now just the thought of falling you wonder if you will break a hip… oh well… Till next time.

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