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emoticon-question-marksAs I wrote yesterday’s blog post I had no idea how prophetic my writing would be. About an hour after I wrote and posted it I received a call from the CEO and HR Director for the company I have worked for since early 2013. They informed me that I was being laid off. The company was needing to downsize and was letting several of us go and I was one of them. I, of course, am an independent contractor, so I cannot apply for unemployment. Within an hour they had deactivated all my usernames and passwords and that was it. No warning, nothing. I had my little cry, but then realized I needed to take the next four days and take my time and figure out exactly what my plans are, what am I going to do, where are we going in 2015, as now things have completely changed. I don’t have the money base that I just had a day ago. I am now going to have to figure out how to replace that income. I mean it wasn’t that much, but it definitely was better than nothing. For some reason when we are finally getting to the point of the finances going well, getting caught up, things looking really good, something has to go wrong. Loss of job, unexpected bills, something breaking, health issues, etc., why is that? Why can’t life just go along and be okay. I guess I understand we have to go through trials, but at some point in our life you would think we would have gone through enough issues that we get a pass from such an age to the end of our lives. I know we have been through more than a lot of families, but less than others.

The other day I was reading a book though that really seemed to foreshadow what ended up happening. The basic premise was based on the book “The Secret,” but also brought in a component of NLP – neurolinguistic programming. This is where you basically learn how to speak things into existence, not just claim and wait. One of those things where you can picture being in a certain place, but if you words are negative and you constantly state you will never achieve anything – then you won’t. One of those things to where if you constantly tell the universe you are broke, you’ll be broke sort of thing. I am still not sure how I feel about either ways of thinking, but the book did talk about something that really stuck with me. People who step out and say they are going to do something with no backup plan and nothing to fall back on normally are able to become successful in their endeavors. A person who has nothing to fall back on has to make things work or end up homeless. I mean we aren’t at that point, but I now have to choose. The thing is that is a hard thing to do when you have to have an income and a job is normally an easy choice. It is there. As long as you are working a paycheck will come your way every two weeks or so and you can plan on being able to pay bills. You aren’t sitting in your office hoping someone will call or email so you can make money. It takes away the guesswork of when you are going to get paid, but it also keeps you stuck in a job that you probably do not enjoy or even like. Your time is committed to that employer which normally means you either are too tired, don’t have enough hours, or such to work on your own business. Your own business is normally doing something you enjoy on your own terms. Of course with this freedom comes the feast or famine situation where you are normally sitting for days or weeks with no jobs or you have so many jobs you are having to make waiting lists or turn down customers. Of course, you normally have no control over this type of situation, you just hope you saved enough money or paid enough bills during the feast to get you through the famine. Problem is, a lot of people go crazy with the money during the feast and then have no way to pay the bills when the famine comes. This type of life is just too much stress on a lot of people and that is why so many people never go into business for themselves.

I guess once you get to my age you start having to really take into account everything so that you make the right decision. When you are 20 or 30 starting all over again isn’t that big of a thing, as you still have 40 to 50 years to make up for any missteps or start again if you have to, but once you are 50 you don’t have as much time to fix the situation. I think that is what makes this decision so hard, as I need to take into account if I can continue to make money this way when I am late 60s or 70s or if there is only five to ten year window of opportunity before I am unable to continue. I guess it is like being at a fork in the road and instead of two options there is four and making the right decision gets more difficult the longer you sit there. I guess it is time I figure out what I am going to do, as I’m not getting any younger as they say. Until next time…

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