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Here we are the last day of 2014.  I can’t figure out where this year went.  It seems like only yesterday I was writing the last blog post for 2013 and now here we are doing it again.  Every year WordPress sends you a report of what exactly happened on your post the past year.  The number of posts, visitors, etc.  They also show what your most popular posts were for the year.  In 2013 the most popular were my entries about the “girls,” but this year it was my posts on depression.  Talk about total opposites on the subject scale.  One of my posts on depression was written probably two years ago, but it was one of my more popular posts for this past year.  Are people more depressed?  Are their friends more depressed?  It really makes you wonder.  From the view in my world I thought the economy was getting better.  Everywhere I go there are help wanted signs and for jobs that really do pay quite well.  The huge mall near my house was extremely busy this past month, which isn’t good for me because I live on the service road of the highway that runs in front of the mall, so starting in November one of the main exits I need to get on the highway is closed because of shoppers.  The other day I had to circle around blocks of back streets just to get to the library, because cars were backed up on roads that normally never see traffic.  It was quite the mess, but apparently people were out buying for Christmas in record numbers.

I know for some people depression is an illness that affects them no matter what the circumstances.  Everyone around you cannot see why you aren’t happy, but in your world the darkness is so strong there is no escaping it.  The holidays have become bittersweet for me.  I got to spend Christmas day with my 6-year-old granddaughter and 1-month-old grandson and watching her open presents and act the fool was quite enjoyable, but while we were celebrating a close relative was having a major downswing in their depression.  Three years ago Christmas and other holidays were a very painful thing for me.  It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I was finally able to say the heck with it when it comes to my youngest son and our situation.  It has officially been three years since I have seen him in person or had a conversation with him… I have offered, reached out, and done everything I know to do to help fix the situation, but we are now to the point that he is the one who is going to have to reach out.  I finally came to accept that you cannot make someone talk to you, love you, or even interact with you if they aren’t in the mindset or place to allow it.  I figure one of these days something will happen, hopefully nothing horrific, and he will decide he needs this side of his family, but my only hope is that we are in a place that we can accept his offer after he has so easily turned on us.

So what is coming in 2015, I have no idea.  I have my 2015 business planning workbook that I am slowing filling out so I can have a road map of what, where, and how 2015 needs to go.  My true goal is to finally be able to quit my day job and make a living through my own projects, books, etc.  I have new ventures in the works and for the first time in a long time I actually see an exit plan coming to life.  The main thing is to make sure I have a clear plan of how I need to proceed so when I am sitting here writing my last post of 2015 I’m not in the same place I am today – in a job I dislike, no clear plans, and wondering where the heck 2015 went.  That is the problem with time, it keeps marching on whether we want it to or not and there is no way to get that time back once it is gone.  You can lose money and then make it back.  You can lose friends and make new ones.  Time – once it is gone it is gone and then all you can do is sit and wonder where it went.

I hope for all of my readers out there a prosperous and fulfilling 2015.  May your plans come to fruition and your life go down the path of your choice.  Till next time…

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