You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2013.

Today, Sunday, April 28, I have a guest blog post that will go live at  I thought I would also post it here for more coverage.  This is for those “Vanilla” writers who want to get started writing Erotica, but not sure how to get comfortable doing it.  Visit Rachel’s blog and check it out…

Has the day come in which you have decided you want to write erotica, but is the vanilla part of you stomping feet and saying no? You want to write out of your comfort zone, but just not sure how to get started? This is the exact place I was in last year when I wanted to start writing erotica. I am one of those who married my first boyfriend at 18 and now 33+ years
later we are still together. I get embarrassed when I watch erotic films or even R rated with sex scenes. I would start writing and the walls would go up from years of strict church teaching, embarrassment, and just generally being uncomfortable with my own sexuality and my ability to write anymore was squashed. I finally had to sit down and have a talk with my inner me and
figure out why I had such problems writing about sex. Sex is just a natural human action that takes place between two people or more, it is what happens when attraction and chemicals come together. It is not a bad thing, good girls have sex and even enjoy it, and that is where I figured out my problem was. Once I figured out what causing me such issues with writing
erotica I was then able to finally put the words to paper. It didn’t immediately flow, but slowly the flood gates opened and the words began to flow.

I still have some problems when it comes to certain language, i.e. cock and other words I just don’t find sexy but are expected in most erotica, especially when I do not cuss and have to figure out other ways to make an impact without the words that can do it in one fatal swoop… What helped me immensely was the book “The Bald-Headed Hermit & the Artichoke” by A.D.
Peterkin. When you are trying to find words to describe certain things and are stuck, just pull out this book and you will find references to body parts that you would never have thought of yourself. One thing you do need to remember is if you are writing for a certain publishing house, website, or whatever, you will need to follow their specific guidelines of what they want
and don’t want as far as language.

The main thing you need to do if you find writing erotica is just not flowing with you is to sit down and ask yourself why. Find out if it is your mom’s voice in your head telling you good girls don’t do that, is it lack of confidence in your own abilities, or what exactly is clogging the flow of your writing when it comes to erotica, because once you fix that then you can take actions
to make your writing work. Once you are to this point there are easy ways to get yourself into the mood to write erotica. If you drink then sit down with a nice glass of wine and get relaxed before you write. You might watch a sexy DVD or read your favorite erotica and get in the mood. You could also sit at your computer or wherever you write and start imagining your
most erotic bedroom fantasy and then just start free writing and see where it goes… It is all up to you… Remember, just because you are vanilla in the bedroom doesn’t mean you can’t write steamy sex scenes that make others wiggle in their seat… michelle lord


cowgirlfaceHow do you figure out what is the right road for you to take? How do you really know what you want from this life?  There are people out there who since they were little children knew they wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, dancer, whatever, and they only pursued that one dream until it came true or they were so devastated that it didn’t happen that they fell into drugs or alcohol or such and never got over it.  The thing is they have one thing they can do, one thing they have spent all their time doing, and then that gave them no other option but to make it work.  I think those of us who are Jack/Jill of all Trades have it worse, because there are so many things we like to do, want to figure out, and enjoy that it is hard to focus on one thing.  I mean I love my fiber art.  I love making dolls and sewing, but I also enjoy writing, hand embroidery, etc.  I am pretty good at several things, which makes it hard to pick one thing I am going to concentrate on and make work.

If I wasn’t good at anything but one thing then all I could do is concentrate on it and not get deviated off my road to success.  My problem is I have so many ideas in my head, projects half finished, books I want to write, things I want to do, places I want to see, and now I am getting to the age where I really do need to make a decision and get something accomplished before it is too late.  I dobluefacen’t think a person has to choose just one thing to do in life, but they probably need to prioritize what they are doing so they can at least get something finished.

In the world of doll making we talk about our WIPs… Our works in progress.  Those doll that are missing their arms or legs, are half dressed, need a stand, or just need started and are lying around the house taking up space.  You have to walk by these poor, pitiful dolls everyday and think about how you need to finish them, but guess what you are so busy doing everything else you think you need to do that these WIPs stay just that… unfinished.  That is the problem us Renaissance people have, we want to make sure we get done everything we want to do, so we spread ourselves too thin over a bunch of projects that end up being WIPs that we walk by and think about how we really do need to finish them.

I am one of those people that if I see something I like or want instead of spending money to buy it, I will learn how to make it… which isn’t always the best way to go, but that is what I did.  I needed stained glass windows for an old house we were restoring, so I learned how to do stained glass.  I wanted a large painting for the space behind my couch, so I learned how to paint.  I needed some earrings, so I figured out how to make them.  The problem with this is I ended up with all these things I liked to do and no time to do any of them correctly.  I finally after several years figured out I loved working with fabric the most.  I then found doll making which incorporated all these skills I learned along the way into one item… I paint their faces, design their costumes, make their jewelry, decoupage their stands, etc. So, I am able to express myself through the dolls and show mpurplefairyfaceore than one skill.  I also can take these skills and make art quilts, handbags, rugs, whatever, which is a wonderful thing.

I guess the problem is I have not figured out a way to make a living from my love of fabric yet, so I have to work two jobs I hate to pay the bills while I have to sit and look at the bags of WIPs wondering when I am ever going to be able to work on them and get them done.  I figured out the other day though that there is no reason why I can’t use my writing ability and make how to books on how to make dolls, sew purses, etc. and have a new way to pay the bills doing something I love and enjoy.  I guess you would call this a crossroads, turn I need to make before it is too late, I become too old, my fingers quit working to hand sew, or whatever else comes with age and quit wasting time and energy in an occupation that is going downhill fast and taking a chance with my fiber art/writing and see where it will take me…. till next time.

The other night I was sitting in a restaurant that we frequent regularly and the service was a bit slower than usual, but the waitress had already told us that the kitchen was having a bit of a meltdown as far as their ticket situation, but they are working on it.  I thought that was fine as I wasn’t really in much of a hurry.  I wasn’t thrilled about the wait, but my other choice was to get up and go elsewhere, but then I would probably have to wait there also, so might as well enjoy my tea and wait.  After a bit the hostess sat this lady and her two sons at the booth behind ours.  She couldn’t figure out what she wanted and then needed a bunch of special stuff and then finally after being there a good 15 minutes finally placed her order.  It wasn’t 10 minutes later and she is ripping the waitress a new one because she is having to wait.  I mean she had only been waiting on her food for 10 minutes, give me a break.  She went on a rant about how her kids were hungry and it was a school night  and that she needed to get them fed and home.  Well, if it was so late and you were so worried about the kids why didn’t you get them something at one of the fast food places or better yet why didn’t you have something already made at home and just go home and eat?  I mean I am a big fan of my crock pot, as I can put something together in the morning and it is sitting there hot and ready when I get home.  There are also already made meals that you pop into the oven and heat for dinner or you could make sandwiches, there are a lot of possibilities if you are that worried about it.

The thing was this lady was so mean to the waitress that she actually made her cry.  The lady was a very good waitress.  She made sure my tea was full, that we were doing okay, and didn’t ignore us like a lot of wait people do.  I was quite pleased with her and it wasn’t her fault that the kitchen was having issues.  The lady claimed that no one told her about the wait and they should have told her at the door, which they probably should have, but then the way she was acting they probably did, but she just didn’t list to them.  You know those types who treats everyone like the help because they are so much better than everyone else.  That type of person who thinks they are special, when in reality they are just a mean, pain in the rear… but that was a bit harsh as I have never really met the woman, but from her actions that is the type of persona she was exhibiting.  

My husband went and told the manager that the waitress did nothing wrong and do not get onto the girl because this is one of those times when the customer is very, very wrong.  The manager admitted that she was one of his best waitresses.  I then caught the waitress and told her she was doing a fine job and to ignore what the mean lady was telling her.  I then left her a very nice tip, as she did not deserve to be treated like that. 

I guess I just do not understand why people feel the need to act like that in public.  Who made them the service police to whip the help into shape?  She would have gotten so much farther in the situation if she would have just asked the waitress why she was having to wait so long and is there any way they would speed things up as she needed to get her kids home.  Now don’t get me wrong, if the wait person ignores me, gives me horrible service, or the food is just terrible I am going to tell someone.  I have been known to go to the kitchen and find my own tea pitcher and fill the glasses of the patrons around me just to make a point, but I have never yelled at or made a wait person cry.  If they are that bad I will quietly ask for the manager and have a private conversation with them and see what we can do to work out the situation or wait until I get home and send a heated email to the company, but at no point do I feel it is acceptable to verbally attack someone who is there to take care of me even if they do a horrible job of it.  Till next time…

I guess as a well-endowed woman I notice this more than most people, but it seems like more and more women I see have ill-fitting bras on.  Not only do women look like they are getting larger and larger in the breast area, buImaget it seems like as the “girls” grow bigger the less most women understand about buying a decent bra.  I mean I’m no expert, but I did sell custom fit bras a few years back so I could get a discount on my own bras, so I understand where to measure and how to figure what fits and what does not.  You would think a person could look in the mirror and if half your breast is hanging out the top of the bra then your cups are too small; wouldn’t that make sense to most people?  I then see these women that I really wonder if they even have a bra on.

I know you have seen them, the ones that when they walk it is a wonder they don’t get two black eyes from the super bouncing “girls.”  It is like they just have on one of those sleep bras that aren’t meant to be worn out of the house, or they just took a piece of cloth and wrapped around them, or who knows.  I mean if you are going to wear a bra that bad, why even wear one?  I have been in a bra since I was 10 years old and I am now 51.  Even as a teenager when I was only a C cup I would not leave the house without a decent fitting bra.  I even had bras for my halter tops and strapless shirts.  I made sure the girls were kept restrained until I was ready for them to be free.  I’m sorry, but there is nothing more unpleasant to see than a well-endowed woman who is not firm and perky, but large and floppy, and when they walk you see the “girls” going in opposite directions, flopping all over the place.  I mean yuk!!  Why should I be subjected to that?  I mean really.

I will never forget going to a burgerImage joint years ago and watching this rather well-endowed girl with no bra on get into a booth.  She took her hands and lifted her boobs up and placed them on the table.  I mean talk about an unpleasant sight.  The thing is there are bras out there for just about everybody.  If you have ever watched the show Double Divas or been into a good lingerie store or even gone online, you would see there are bras up to 50N.  I mean the lady who has the largest natural breasts in the world even got a bra the other day that fit her and she is like a Z cup…. she is truly HUGE… So, if she can get a bra so can you women out there who would rather flop around and subject yourself to possible bodily injury from your flopping projectiles and make all us people having to watch this sight uncomfortable.

I mean if you are one of those lucky girls who either have very perky natural girls, are small and firm, or have been enhanced and your girls haven’t bounced since surgery, well if you don’t want to wear a bra then go ahead and show the world your goods, even though I hope when you are at your job or such you have proper underwear on unless you have one of those jobs where clothing is optional.  But, if you are like the rest of us then please buy a proper bra and wear it.  I don’t care how nice you are dressed; if you are flopping it ruins the look of the outfit.  I guess I would rather see your bra straps than see you drag the ground, and I am one of those people who think bra straps should be covered by your outfit, as I just think it looks better.

Okay, I know, I am ranting about something that most guys probably like to watch, but I would think even the most obsessed breast loving man would prefer not to see a “Floppy Floor” any more than the rest of us.  Do yourself a favor, get yourself a decent bra and wear it proudly… Not only will the “girls” thank you, the rest of us that have to see you thank you, and once you have everything in the right place you might be surprised at how much better you feel not having those swinging mounds of flesh doing their own thing… Until next time….

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