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No carb, low carb, no fat, oh heck….. why is it so hard to find a diet that is easy to follow and works?

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Earlier today I received a picture of myself in a group photo at the funeral this past week. I knew I had put on some weight due to medication changes, stress, and other issues, but goodness me, I had no idea. You have any idea what it is like to be the biggest lady in the room? Not much fun. I have also hit that age where part of me just doesn’t want to deal with it and the other part is like dang girl, do something. The problem is that I am now in a quandary as what to even do. I have been checking out all sorts of diet books from the library and am more confused that I was before I started. One says cut out all carbs and you will lose weight as fast as it can come off. The other book says you can eat good carbs that burn off slowly and still be able to have your carb fix. The next book tells you to eat any pasta or carbs you want as long as they are whole wheat and grains, i.e. nothing white. No processed rice, pasta, etc. The next book says to eat whatever you want but in moderation. Okay, sounds good, but can I truly eat cookies, cake, Mexican, etc. and really lose weight. There are other plans that say you have to eat an extremely strict diet 6 days a week and then can eat whatever you want on the seventh day. That sounds like a plan, but the problem comes in the first six days and how next to impossible it is to follow the diet. You then have the Mediterranean, South Beach, vegetarian, Atkins, Flat Belly, Skinny Girl, you name it, they have a diet for it diets. How in the world is a person supposed to figure out what to do?

I know the basic premise is you eat less and exercise more, which sounds good in theory. I mean if you are only taking in so many calories and then burning them off through activity then you should be able to lose weight. The problem comes in when what you are eating is not good for you to begin with and no matter how much you exercise there is no overcoming the bad stuff you are putting in your mouth. Then when you add in the problem I have of stress eating and the whole thing falls apart. The funny thing is that when I look at myself in the mirror I don’t look that big. I know I am heavy, but the image in the mirror compared to the image in the photo is two totally different images. I wonder if that is what anorexics experience. When we look at them we see skin and bones, but when they look in the mirror they see fat? It is strange how you can get so used to something being a certain way that once you are confronted with the truth you have a hard time believing it. So, I guess I am going to have to continue my hunt for the best change in lifestyle for me, one that will help the weight start coming off, but also not be so difficult that I couldn’t follow it if I tried. Till next time….

Black eyes and the “girls”….. the joy of large breasts and the issues they cause…

ImageFor some reason I get the most requests for blog posts about the “girls.”  If you aren’t sure what I am talking about I would be referring to the two large body parts on my chest that are the cause of much chagrin in my life.  If you look through my archive you will find many rants on my feelings about me and the “girls.”  Well, the other day on Facebook I saw the above post and I agreed fully with it.  I have found that unless you have large natural breasts you have no idea what a pain they can be literally.  Let me see if I can explain this in terms anyone can understand.  I was going to say try strapping two bowling balls on your chest and jump up and down,  but that would not work at all, as they would not only knock you completely out, but probably break your nose, plus some teeth.  I guess it would be better to take two beanbags the size of cantaloupes or maybe even soccer balls and figure out how to strap them to your chest to where they still have the freedom to move.  Now jump up and down and see how it feels to be slapped in the face with your own body parts.  Not fun at all.

The reason you would have to have natural breasts is most of the women I have seen who have enhanced “girls” do not bounce.  They have these perky “girls” that stay in place and there is no concern for bodily harm if you decide to jump and down.  The problem comes in when you start talking about us natural woman of whom gravity hasn’t been nice to and now the thought of jumping up and down really is not a smart idea.  I mean when I take off my cantilevered super bra my waist disappears.  Kind of like my left ankle, it disappeared a long time ago and now I have what is called a cankle, you know where the calf and ankle have become one and all a person sees is this mass of tissue that goes down into your shoe.  Oops, I went chasing rabbits again; let’s see if I can get back on track.  We were discussing lost waists and slaps in the face.

Back to gravity and natural “girls”… it is very unnerving to be getting undressed at night and once you take off your bra you realize the girls are hanging down far enough that you have lost your waist and now you have boobs and hips, that is your whole midsection.  Geez, such a revelation.  I think if I had the money the one plastic surgery I would have would be to have the doctor put the girls back up where they belong.  I guess though that not be the smartest thing, as then I would have these two projectiles sticking out the front that would really get in the way.  You want to really embarrass a server at a restaurant?  Be big busted in a crowded booth and see how they become very embarrassed on how to put your plate down without brushing the “girls.”  Between the apologies and my telling them not to worry about it, it can really be quite a comical situation.

So, back to the original reason for the post, jumping and black eyes … as much as I ramble on about the “girls” I guess they aren’t all bad.  They give me extra padding if I fall on my face, they make a good place to hide my cell phone as you can’t tell the phone from the girls, I have a place to set my drink or food, and give me an excuse not to make an idiot of myself by jumping up and down when I am excited about something….till next time….

Funerals and family members you don’t know…. lost family, funerals, and ties that will never be.

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My uncle passed away last week and we made the trip up to the funeral this week. I live in Texas, he lived in Indiana. The main reason I made the trip was to meet a large portion of my dad’s side of the family that I have either never met or it has been over 30 years since I saw them. I have always wanted more family in my life. I am glad to have my dad, but I kind of would like to experience the big family holidays, you know the Thanksgiving dinner with all the family gathered around doing goofy things, getting into fights, whatever. Our holiday dinners normally these days consist of my hubbie, my dad if he is in town, and me. I am not saying I don’t enjoy our intimate dinners, but I have longed for a big family to be a part of, even if it is only once a year.

I guess my problem is no matter how much I start to communicate with the family I met today, if we do get together on holidays, or whenever, it will never be quite right. They all have history with each other. They were there for the weddings, funerals, reunions, births, etc. All those events in life that bring families closer together, given them things in common to talk about, make them family. I haven’t been there for any of it. They can tell me about it, show me pictures of the events, but it will never be the same and that is kind of sad. For me it means I will always be on the outside looking in no matter what I do, or how many years go by, or how close we become, there is a part our lives that will never be joined, never be a shared memory, just never be the same as it would have been if I could have been around them more. I mean we aren’t that far away, 1000 miles, but it seems like over the years that 1000 miles was more like the great divide that I was never able to cross and I have some regret about that.

I know you cannot look back at your life and have regrets, as they will eat you up. You know those things you wish you had done differently, wished you could change, and those events you can never experience again. I guess it isn’t so much regret as it is sadness of events missed, people whom I wished I could have met, ties I wish were there that never will be. I hope to be able to have some communication with the lost family that is now found in my life, but not sure it will ever really come to fruition, but I can hope. Till next time…

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I admit that I am rather well endowed. My bras are not the cute little, low cut things that a lot of women can wear. They are large and high cut. No matter what I do though I end up with crumbs in my cleavage. I do not wear low-cut tops, I also do not wear turtlenecks, but I far from show off much of the “girls.” It is like my bra has a magnet in the middle of it that attracts any little piece of food to come straight down the middle of the bra. By the end of the day it is a wonder it isn’t overflowing with food for later. I have tried to figure out what would fix the problem. Do I need to sew a bib into my bras, make a little net that the crumbs would bounce off of and out on the floor, or resign myself to turtlenecks even in the 100 degree summer heat? It is a bit embarrassing when you are at a restaurant trying to clean out your cleavage without making a spectacle of myself. You know how goofy a person looks with their hand down the front of their bra in public? I don’t care how discrete you try to be, it is hard to hide what you are doing. I guess I could go to the bathroom and take care of the problem, but I would spend the majority of my time going back and forth to the bathroom at least a half a dozen times during the meal. It isn’t like the “girls” can eat anything, so why do they need their own meal? I don’t think I will ever be able to figure this mystery out. Anyone out there have any ideas? Till next time….

I finally finished and e-published my book on our life after hubbie’s stroke. The title is “There is Life After a Stroke” and you can find it either at Amazon.com or Smashwords.com. The book not only chronicles our life after Gene’s stroke in 1996 at the age of 36, but is also a practical guide on life after a stroke. There are sections on everything from what life will be like after a stroke to how to travel, work, or just live a normal life. Who would have thought that in a quick moment over 15 years ago our life would change so dramatically? One moment you are living your life and the next your world is turned upside down. Life really is a strange thing if you think about it. They say everything happens for a reason, but at times I am really confused as to what reason certain things happen. I guess it is not for us to know or understand, but I think at times it would be nice to at least have a little warning before our lives are turned upside down. I guess that would take the element of surprise or the ability to learn your lesson out of the equation.

I was rather surprised though how easy it is to self-publish your book on a site like Smashwords.com. Of course you lose the team of editors and other related people who take a book through the wringer before it ends up printed and on the shelves of a bookstore near you. A person though has to have their own circle of people to help proof, edit, and make suggestions to make sure your book is ready for publication. The process does give the writer more control over the finished product, gives them the ability to publish their true concept, not what the publisher thinks the public wants, but what the author was really wanting to say. I have to admit though that the process does make it at times hard for the reader to know exactly what type of quality the book they are buying is like, but if the author is smart they let the buyer see a percentage of the book for free before they buy, which eases the reader’s mind as to whether they are getting their money’s worth.

Now back to the subject at hand, if you have a loved one or even had a stroke yourself, please take a look at my book, “There is Life After a Stroke,” as it really does have a lot of practical information to help you on your journey to recovery and making a life you can enjoy. Till next time….

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