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Well, today I figured out that you can use a shopping cart like a walker if you have to. I had to go today and get groceries, since it has been weeks since I had gone and the cabinets were getting pretty pitiful. I figured that Wal-mart would have an electric scooter, as they normally have several at the door. Of course, today they had none. One of the employees informed me that the three at the door were broken and that they had two stolen and the only working one an old lady was using, so I wasn’t going to go knock her out of it so I could use it.

This then left me with either leaving and not getting groceries or figuring out how to make this work. After folding up my walker and putting it in the cart I figured that I could hold onto the top of the sides and it would give me better control of the cart and thus make it possible for me to get through the store. It actually worked pretty well except for people stopping in the middle of the aisle in front of me and then looking at me like what was my problem. I mean really, here I am hunched over this cart, sweating like a pig with a walker sticking out of my cart, what do you think my problem might be? Really, I think you are smart enough to figure it out, but maybe not.

With that said, I actually got all my groceries, gave my knee a good workout, and got to the car without too much hassle. I was rather proud of myself. I admit a couple of weeks ago this never would have worked, but I can tell the knee is getting stronger, but now I still have to work on it getting more mobility in it, as we are stuck at 15 and 80 degrees, which is nowhere near what it should be by now. I guess I get to have therapy with the outpatient physical terrorists, oh I mean therapists. Believe me, I am not looking forward to that, but I do want to transition to a cane before I turn 50 in August. LOL. Till next time…


Okay, I admit it, I was beaten by an electric scooter. Such shame. Since my hubbie has been in the hospital since Tuesday we came to the realization that I could not walk from the parking garage, through all the different buildings to get to his room and see him. I just am not up to that much walking yet. By luck my hubbie has an electric scooter he got about seven years ago because of his mobility issues from a massive stroke in 1996. He is to where he normally only uses it when he has to do quite a bit of walking now.

We decided that I would have to use it if I was going to be able to make it around the hospital. The problem with this is the chair really does scare me. Not so much the riding around in it, but the loading and unloading of this thing. It is a big scooter. When he got it he was over 400 pounds and they gave him this big chair with two batteries and the thing is extremely heavy. You do not want to be run over by this thing. The next problem is the way you have to get it in and out of the Jeep. We have these two foldable metal ramps that have a lip on the one end. You slip the lip between the bumper and the door trim lined up with the wheels of the chair. You have to either straddle the ramps or stand to either side of the ramps, which is a problem on the left side, as that is where the Jeep door is and my arms are not long enough to reach over the chair from the right.

Well, Wednesday morning I get myself to the hospital and it comes time to get biggie out of the Jeep. Here I am trying to get around with my walker, getting out these heavy ramps and lining them up, and then trying to get the chair lined up and down the ramp without running myself over or the chair falling off the ramps. It was probably very comical to watch, but I wasn’t laughing. I finally get into position and slowly get the chair lined up. It hops the bump and gets on the ramp. Okay, we are making progress I thought. I then have to walk to the other side of the ramps, which of  course is no easy thing. I think I am finally going to get this chair off the ramps and the thing stops. It decides it isn’t going anywhere. It has a short or something because there are times when the chair decides it is stupid and cannot remember to go. Well, this was one of those times and I was not in any shape to deal with it. I am standing there in pain trying to figure out what to do. I am not strong enough to push this chair off the ramps. I cannot leave the chair on the ramps with the back door of the Jeep wide open in a parking garage. I have no idea what to do. People are driving past me like crazy getting an eyeful, but does any one stop and ask to help, NO!!!.  I mean what happened to common courtesy? Doesn’t any one give a crap about their fellow man or woman anymore?  I mean I really do not think I look like a serial killer.

Here I am hanging onto my walker, in tears, trying to figure out how to kick this stupid chair without causing myself more issues, and people are looking at me like I am crazy. Well, maybe I was, but you could have asked if I needed help. Geez.  So, I proceed to take off the cover where the batteries are and start checking all the connectors. I then push the chair back and forth and hope for the best. I then hit the button and the chair got its brain back. YEA!! I finally get the chair off the ramps, pack the ramps back into the car and then go on my merry way.

Well, I have never really used this chair before. It has a joystick that controls its movement. The chair does not like me and I do not like the chair, so the first thing it does is run me into the elevator door. Ouch. The door opens again and I get into the elevator and the chair runs me into the back wall. Ouch again. The chair and I have issues all the way up to my husband’s room. I come close to running over people and had one elevator shut the door three times before I finally was able to get myself through the doors and out to the floor. I mean really now. I can say now that over the past three days I am able to steer the chair much better and am only running into an occasional wall, door or person, but I am doing much better.

So, back to that first day with me and the chair. It came time for me to go home. I figured getting the chair in the Jeep would be much easier than trying to get it out. Guess what, I was wrong. I get everything setup and line up the chair to back it up the ramps and into the Jeep. I think I am doing okay until it keeps trying to roll back down the ramps. I know I was pushing the joystick the correct way, but it kept going back down the ramps. I start yelling at the thing to stop it, which caused a bit of an audience to form, but any help?  Of course not. I mean two men, who looked like a father and son, walked by to get to their car and they were very able-bodied people, but did they ask to help?  NO!!  They just looked at me like I was crazy and went on about their business. Here I am sweating like a pig, yelling at a chair, and about ready to give up. Well, maybe that is why they walked on. I probably looked like a crazy person who forgot to take my pills or something, oh well. I finally get the chair in the Jeep and off I go ready to take a pain pill and go to bed.

The chair and I now have come to an understanding. I do not like it and it does not like me, but we now have respect for each other. I will try to not run it into things and it will not run over me. I think that is a good compromise. I am just ready for the hospital to let my hubbie out so I do not have to deal with this chair by myself any more. Till next time…

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. Between doctor appointments, physical therapy getting more aggressive and trying to go back to work part-time I just haven’t felt like writing, but I am back now, so at least I warned you. Well, Tuesday afternoon my husband starting having one of his dizzy/weak/profuse sweating spells that we have been trying to figure out for months, but it was bad enough that I took him to the ER. The first problem with this is I am not supposed to be driving for at least another week and a half, but I knew I hadn’t taken a pain pill for several hours, so figured if I could get in the driver’s seat I would be fine. Well we get there and they not only check him in they decided to keep him. We are hoping he gets out Thursday afternoon, but not sure yet. They still can’t figure out what is going on. With all the walking and all I have blisters on both my palms from the walker, which I fixed that issue with a pair of gloves and new padding on my handles.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the panic attack that came on last night when I got home and realized I was by myself, had no one on speed dial to talk to as far as friends, and I was going to have to take care of myself and I can’t even get myself in and out of the shower without help. Wow, that was it, a full-blown panic attack came on and I had no idea what to do or who to call. I sure didn’t want to call my husband in the hospital, as he was feeling bad for not being able to take care of me, my dad is 900 miles away, so figured calling him would be a bit counterproductive, especially since I was a bit incoherent and crying uncontrollably. When I have a panic attack it is more of a hyperventilating, crying uncontrollably sort of thing. I ended up figuring out someone to call to talk me down and I got over it, but that is hard place to be in realizing you need help and you are on your own, even if it is for a night or a couple of days, things like that have a way of hitting you and even if you are normally a very logical, rational person emotions have a way of taking over and you just lose it.

I mean I have a lot of acquaintances, people we eat out with or such, but I honestly can say I do not have a true best friend that I can call at any time of the day or night and just talk. I know I am not the only person who can say that either. We seem to be a society that is so busy and a bit isolated, especially those of use who work from home, to where we just don’t meet people and have time to make a lasting friendship. I truly envy those people who have friends that they have had for years that are there no matter what, who they can call any time, a true best friend. I guess I never really had a true best friend, as we moved so much when I was young, then I got married young, had kids and then time to go out with the girls and such just never was there. For the last 11 years I have worked from home, so that really kills the ability to make work friends. Kind of a sad if you think about it. Oh well.

As far as the knee goes, It seems to have a mind of its own. Doctor is upset because I am stuck at 20 degrees extension and I need to be at 10 by now, so PT has been getting rather aggressive with therapy and now it is straightening a bit better, but now it doesn’t want to bend. It is like it either wants to do one or the other, but forget both. I really have to work on it though, as the doctor was telling me the options if my leg does not straighten and then scar tissues forms, which then means a second surgery where they go in and break up all the scar tissue and you basically start over again, which is not an option for me. I mean, this first surgery was bad enough, so have to start working on getting this knee to act right. Well, I have to go see if I can get myself in and out of the shower without any help, as I can’t wait any longer for a shower. Till next time….

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